The Rapture They Wrote : A Patriotic Purge

Once upon a not-so-distant timeline, there lived a group of the Most Patriotic People™ you’d ever meet. They knew all the words to the national anthem, cried during flag commercials, and kept the Constitution in their glove boxes — right next to the laminated Chick-fil-A coupons. (I know, I know. I like Chick-fil-A too, cue in watery…

Maybe It Was Thierry Henry, Maybe It Was God—Either Way, I Got the Parking Spot

Let me set the scene:I was feeling super anxious as I was on my way to pick my bro up from LAX. In other words, I was dealing with crazy traffic, finding the right terminal, parking, etc. Did I mention I really hate parking structures, but I’ll get into that with ChatGPT later (he’s my…