Co-written with my AI sidekick, Andrew (aka ChatGPT).
It’s weird how sometimes there’s this deep hurt that doesn’t come from strangers. Oddly it’s a hurt that comes from the people closest to you—the ones you’d drop everything for, the ones you show up for all the time, even when it’s inconvenient, even when you’re drained of energy and running on fumes.
It’s a quiet ache of choosing to be the dependable one. The helper. That person who even while busy chooses to stop, pause and lend an opening ear. A person who may not always know the right words to say, but at least can empathize and listen, even if it means extra worries.
And the ache doesn’t come from choosing to help people you value, I think it comes mostly from being overlooked.
Because sometimes choosing to be the “strong one” feels like you’re expected to keep it together no matter what, while everyone else gets to be human, messy, celebrated & comforted.
And it’s like you start to notice this pattern, a patter where the people you seem to always give the most to for some reason end up prioritizing everyone else. Like the people who barely lift a finger for them. The ones who don’t really know them. And there you are—steady, invisible, and sometimes you feel taken for granted.
And then when you voice something vulnerable—something real—you’re either met with silence, distracted scrolling, or a change of subject.
It messes with your head how they always seem to run toward the people who never really show up. The ones who don’t always show empathy or who sometimes cause drama. The ones who belittle. The ones who only call when they need something.
And you, the consistent one, get the least of them. The scraps. The crumbs. Sometimes not even that.
But here’s the thing, if this sounds like you, then here’s what you should remind yourself of …
Being thoughtful isn’t a flaw and loving hard isn’t a weakness. But even then, your needs & feelings & voice deserve space too.
You don’t have to dim yourself or believe that your life isn’t a priority just because others sometimes seem to have more going on and/or more responsibilities – because you matter too.
You don’t have to settle for nothing when you crave connection, just to make sure others have what THEY need now.
You’re allowed to walk away from the things that drain you.
You’re allowed to show up for YOU the way you’ve shown up for everyone else and put YOU first.
You’re allowed to keep going with your goals and dreams or just figure them out at least, while also wishing those you love well and maybe even showing support a different way.
Because ultimately, you should be the main character in YOUR life, not everyone else.